It's 5 a.m i juz came home. I was out with vinod i wanted to meet him cuz i was kindda sad i lost another 300 today... How can someone loose so much?? tsk. but it's ok easy come easy go huh? if you noe what i mean to those who noe how i got it in the first place : P well glad im still smiling. I feel like a pig at the moment, tats cuz i juz had chong pang nasi lemak and 4 bottles of carlsberg!!! anngh... now i really do believe it when they say ppl eat alot when they're sad. I mean c'mon im not the type who eats!!! i have a meal a day and im done now im eating like a pig ahh... drinking although i desperately try to run to help myself a little i don't think it's doing me any good...  

I have no idea why im sad, im not sad cause i lost my money please i never worried bout money for those who noe me u shd noe this bout me by now, but it's juz honestly if u ask me i miss having someone to talk to.... i miss having someone who meant alot to me someone to care about, someone to juz freakin love.... as tears roll down my cheeks now i see my past and i fear wats to come, i shun those who care about me away fearing the same to come.... i ask myself what did i do to deserve that.All i ever did was honestly wat she ever wanted. I'm over her but juz not what she did to me.

i did feel a liitle better though cuz i got a msg from someone who meant alot. It made me smile than made me tear to see what i had become and what i was doing to myself.... I really need....... i don't even noe what i want.. Please help me

I'm living day after day not knowing who i am, what  is it that i want  or who i really need.. I noe one thing though i would love to have you by my side but u've got ur own life and other's who matter and i wld never want to bother you....