so it's been a few days since i've posted a proper entry....Everytime i wanna update all the things going on in my mind i'm afraid ppl wld read and start to noe the real me, the things that go on in my head, the way i react to situations. But i've decided to brush off what others may think and juz write.
the past few days have been really lonesome for me, i don't noe y exactly but things like y did i have to meet povanes in the first place, the times we had together, the circumstances tat let to us moving apart, it's been a really painful few days for me. Constantly in my mind although i don't show it out it's killing me inside. I thought i was over it, but as much as i like to think tat i am, i'm juz too afraid to let ppl into my life,be open to them,or even have a proper conversation with a gal.
I've been pushing ppl away, not replying sms's,s, staying up at the macs late at night till bout 5 in the morning. It feels so lonely in my room, even the only place where i felt safe i'm shunning. As much as i noe that drinking is not going to solve my problems and i've not drank in a long time mths i think. Maybe juz abit wldn't hurt at the moment.
Is wat i'm doing wrong? i need someone to show me some love, haha i'm sounding weird now, but yea the truth is i juz need someone to be here for me, and although ppl have come forth and offered so many times i push them away. i don't feel comfortable with any of them. I'm sorry but yea tats just me. I don't trust easily.i bet u never knew this bout me!! And as for the person i was toking bout earlier i noe i said i'll always be here for you, but seeing you the other day....i'm not so sure if i can. Memories haunt me everytime i see you. I wld never blame you for wat happened, it was my fault. i'm sorry
But yes it wld really help if you could please (i'm so sorry) let me go. I can't come meet you anymore,i juz can't. I'm a mess and i've just started picking myself up.so please... :(
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